Animated Atrocities 35/Transcript
I'm finally back on schelude!! All it took was several weeks in an all-nighter. Yeah, from now on, I'm taking the week of Christmas off as well as the week of July 21st 21st is my birthday, because sometimes things just pile up too much and you lose track of things. Anyway, "Lisa Goes Gaga"; the review that I've been procrastinating for so long. We're finally tackling The Simpsons, and let me say it's about fucking time! The Simpsons needs no introduction. With 20-something seasons and well over 300 episodes, there was no way that I could avoid this show. A lot of people have been requesting "The Principal and the Pauper" as well as this episode, but TV Trash already did a pretty good review of that, and I'm not here to be redundant. This episode starts with one of the strangest ways I've seen in quite some time: A narrator tells us about Springfield. Narrator: 'See that town? It goes by the name of Springfield - birthplace of the brass knuckle. Considering that this narrator has no purpose in the story, I'm assuming that it's some kind of joke. It's not funny, at all! There are many strange signs that all point to the introduction of Lady Gaga. Oh, so it's one of '''those '''Simpsons episodes... One that tries to build an episode around a celebrity appearance instead of giving us an actual decent story. Well, let's do this! The episode gives us its staple joke: Lady Gaga wears weird outfits. That's pretty much the only joke in the episode. It's as painfully unfunny as you'd imagine. They're passing by Springfield. When Lady Gaga hears that it has low self-esteem, she wants to visit it, but her, I think, her manager stops her. Lady Gaga tells him no and here's why. Lady Gaga is too busy showing off her weird outfits at security, and so she misses the flight, so she parties on the... boarding ramp... What the hell did that have to do with not stopping at Springfield!? It had nothing to do with anything!! sarcastically Ha ha, Lady Gaga wears funny outfits, I mean, that joke has NEVER been said before! normal We cut to the school where they're getting popularity awards. Bart wins 'class clown' and Lisa wins 'the most unpopular student' award. How do you win a most unpopular award? Oh wait, this is supposed to be a joke, so they're allowed to throw out logic! '''Lisa: '(sobbing) Um... thank you for noticing me. (students all laughing at her) 'Sherri(?): '''She actually accepted it! offended Yeah, that-that's a really funny joke...! '''Lisa: '(to Skinner) You said they'd take it easy on me. '''Principal Skinner: '''I know very little about children. mocking It's funny, because he's a school principal! normal Back to Lady Gaga. I GET IT, she wears weird outfits! STOP '''BEATING A DEAD HORSE!! YOU'RE NOT '''GONNA MAKE A CLICHE JOKE '''ANYMORE FUNNY BY DOING IT OVER, AND OVER. AND OVER AGAIN!! of a Todd in the Shadows review Take a tip from Todd in the Shadows. He's never made fun of her clothes ONCE, because it's not only an overdone joke, it's also an OBVIOUS joke! In fact, his Lady Gaga reviews are THIS EPISODE done right!! At home, Lisa is still moping. Milhouse is there for some reason, and so he shows her the school bulletin board for some reason, AND there's a whole thread to Lisa Simpson. Someone named Truth Teller has been saying nice things about her, and the next day, she's popular. Wow, that was easy. Eventually a notebook falls out of her backpack and it's filled with things that Truth Teller says. Bart: '''(gasps) Oh, my God! You're Truth Teller! Then why did she bring the notebook in public...? AND now the kids hate her again. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT OF THAT!? It could have been cut out of the episode altogether! Kids don't like Lisa, kids LIKE her, because of stupid reason, and then kids don't like her, because that reason doesn't exist. Back to Lady Gaga, and apparently, she's got some kind of special sense. Lady Gaga arrives in town and we see Lisa moping around, and it's one of the most melodramatic things I've ever seen. And the episode ITSELF explains why! '''Homer: '''What's wrong with her? '''Bart: '''She just found out no one likes her. (loud whisper): I thought she knew. That's right, she DID know! She is complaining about something that she's known as FACT! To the episode's credit, they've got a joke that's almost funny. You see, if they didn't hammer in this one joke for, like, 30 seconds, it'd actually be FUNNY, but they keep it going for far too long! They go to Lady Gaga's concert where the episode gives us the most surprising joke I've ever seen in my life! Did you guys know that Lady Gaga wears weird outfits? I had no '''FUCKING IDEA!! And then we get some singing. Alright, yeah, with Lady Gaga actually singing, the music is definitely going to be pretty good. So yeah, this episode has good music, then again so does "Quest for Camelot" so it doesn't save the episode from failure! Oh, by the way, Lady Gaga wears weird outfits! And her freaky sense thing lets her see that Lisa's depressed. '''Lady Gaga: '''We should go to your house and talk. Incognito! '''Lisa: '''Oh, God. mocking It's funny, because she's shouting in front of a whole crowd! normal So, they go walking towards the Simpsons home while completely ignoring the paparazzi. of 1001 jokes they could have used here, they don't. It's pointless banter. Then, Ned Flanders talks to Lady Gaga. It's totally pointless, moving on. Lady Gaga tries to encourage Lisa with some lip service that does absolutely nothing. '''Lady Gaga: '''Now, Lisa, if that didn't fundamentally change who you are, I don't know what. What the hell? Did you forget a word there? Lady Gaga vows to restore Lisa's self-esteem, but Lisa just wants to be alone. Bart and Maggie come in, because I don't know and Maggie places the pacifier by Lisa thinking that it has a chance of helping. Oh, you BETTER not go "Squid Baby" on me! Lady Gaga talks to Marge, blah blah blah, melodrama and kiss. stutters Ye-yeah, I don't know. The next day, Lady Gaga's wearing zany another crazy outfit! normal She's preparing to go out to find Lisa, AND she comes to Lisa in a giant egg. Lady Gaga tries to cheer Lisa up and Lisa starts shouting a 'Gaga'! '''Lisa: '''This isn't about me. it is, you idiot. '''Lady Gaga: '''Well, who else would it be about? '''Lisa: '''You! It's about "Hello, hello, Springfield." "It's me, Gaga!" "Why is everyone looking at my purple hair full of bluebirds?" Well, I denounce thee! '''Lady Gaga: '''Wha? '''Lisa: '''I denounce thee for giving people ambitions they cannot fulfill. And I denounce thee for positing a world where social acceptance and walking on heels are easy! exactly was the provocation for this after one solitary day? You know, this might be incredibly mean-spirited if it didn't come out of FUCKING NOWHERE! But the real convoluted bullshit happens after Gaga goes crying away. just his "never try" speech again. Homer tries to give Lisa some advice and tuning him out lets her realize that she's been ungrateful. Lisa for what, exactly? The celebrity stalker or the endless harassment? Lady Gaga is about to leave, but Lisa stops her. '''Lady Gaga: '''For what? '''Lisa: '''Look at me! You did help me by allowing me to inappropriately focus eight years of rage and rejection on you. It was like a great sneeze. And now I can say what's good about me. What exactly was the moral here? Even if you were trying to parody a moral, I should know what the fuck it IS! If it was "be yourself", then uncharacteristically shouting at Lady Gaga doesn't establish it very well. Is it "have self-confidence"? I don't understand how shouting at Lady Gaga over HER failings establish Lisa's own self-worth. Yeah, the moral is about as convoluted as everything else in this episode! of the episode I don't even know what the point of the episode was, besides just having Lady Gaga there. It's a contrived plot and a MESSIEST health story. The humor amounted to nothing more than 'Lady Gaga wears funny outfits!'. I mean, for the love of Gaga, tell a FUCKING ORIGINAL JOKE!! Every asshole on the Internet has beaten that joke into the ground THREE YEARS before she started her career! And the moral is so confused, that I don't even know what they were TRYING to teach. It's just a bizarre mess...! Category:Animated Atrocities Category:Season 2 Category:Transcripts